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Azeroth Warming; Experts Say We Have 10 Years Before Disaster

February 1, 2007 By Gitr 3 Comments

The high counsel of the Night Elves has concluded their emergency summit on the topic of global climate change and its impact on life on Azeroth. Starborn Nightcaller, the head of research at the Night Elf Journal of Droods, has determined after years of study that the temperatures around Azeroth are on the rise.

His fears about the path the Gnomes were taking decades ago, before the accident in Gnomergon, were confirmed by druidic data gathered from all corners of Azeroth. The impact of this subtle temperature rise will be catastropic according to his calculations. Just Mechanostriders alone produce enough methane and carbon dioxide to affect the environment, let alone all of the other gnomish inventions that spew gasses and leak oils everywhere.

“The Gnomes must be a part of the solution in this terrible matter of global safetly,” Nightcaller told a crowd gathered outside the summit. “Their devices are ruining our beautiful landscape and affecting the air we breathe. Soon that air will no longer protect us from the outside forces and our climate will change too drastically for life to sustain itself.”

The new High Tinker, Boom Megabuild, wrote a response stating, “The elves have been making these claims for centuries. This is the same old story with a new wrapper, this time blaming the gnomes for all of the world’s problems. It is utterly ridiculous and anyone believing this junk is comparable to a trogg.”

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Comments

  1. Crystalis says

    February 1, 2007 at 9:57 am

    Gnomes ARE responsible for all the world’s problems. The question is, what are you punks gonna do about it?

  2. Gitr says

    February 1, 2007 at 10:00 am

    Well, I have rolled an Undead, Troll, 2 Orcs, Blood Elf, and a Tauren. That’s a start. No offense toward you personally, of course, as we are in parallel universes.

    /ROFL

  3. Mindkiller says

    February 1, 2007 at 1:23 pm

    This is why i got me a nice eco-freindly Epic Mistsaber. Biodegradable and produces as much waste as a…..well a Mistsaber. Hows this: lets get rid of all the nice gadets that make killing your enemy easier. Bombs, guns, and bombs. We need these things to survive in a world where the average resident consistanly stpes on the little men….and women. We don’t like the foot traffic on ours heads. Stick to the roads, bean poles. Honestly how can you go through life having to duck under branchs and door ways. What kind of life is it to be over 5 and half feet, or more in the case of the elves and those hamburgers on hooves.

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