I’ve never yelled at the TV so much in my life. It was hot. It was good. It was bad. It was a complete breakdown of the very fibers that make us human at one point. This is set to be the biggest rant against Sanjaya ever.
First, the recap:
Haley Scarnato:
HOT! As Simon said, “I think people will be talking about more than your singing.” She was wearing high shorts, a backless top that must have been hairsprayed on her chest to avoid a malfunction Superbowl-style. Her singing was good, to boot. She picked a great song for her, delivered, and worked it to her advantage. Good opening for the night.
Chris Richardson:
Why do the judges still like him? Every song is the same. He has the same whispy stupid tone and brought out the guitarist to sit with him as he sang. I think that was to draw attention away from his performance because the the music as far better than the singing. It was painful, but I don’t think it was enough to get non-voted.
Stephanie Edwards:
Same thing as last week: her singing was fine, but I can’t remember what she sang or anything about what the judges said. It was just plain “meh” for me.
Blake Lewis:
Is there any song that he can’t update and totally rock out? Regardless of being able to sell CDs, he can go perform anywhere on any given day with talent like that. His moves are smooth and his singing is spot on.
LaKisha Jones:
It wasn’t her best performance. In fact, I’d say the delivery was her worst since Hollywood Week. Granted, there was nothing wrong with her outfit (all $1 million in diamonds) or her singing, but the song choice didn’t do anything for her. I just couldn’t get over that she shouldn’t be singing that song because it didn’t match her personality.
Phil Stacey:
It looks like I might be right again. His vocals were weak and the judges were not impressed. I think he’s going to have a hard time getting enough votes. It was just a very mundane performance of Tobacco Road and it didn’t suit him at all.
Jordin Sparks:
Give this girl an evening out on the town. She sang an absolutely depressing song about not having a guy(which she doesn’t) and delivered it perfectly. It was totally believable and it made Simon “want to go jump off a bridge.” Pretty funny comment about selling the song, but once he explained it as a compliment, everyone cheered.
Sanjaya Malakar:
I’m…I’m…I’m speechless. I was yelling, screaming, laughing, coughing, and in utter disbelief that I saw that on national television in glorious HD with surround sound. It was almost too much to bear. When the show opened, he waved to the camera and we all saw his sleeves of his sweater went to the middle of his fingers and there was a hole for his thumb! It was sooo stupid-looking.
When he came out singing You Really Got Me and the lights started flashing and he came out yelling the song, I almost lost it. About 10 seconds into his performance, the funniest thing in recent TV history happened: they showed a girl of about 12 with blonde pigtails crying in complete adoration of this freak on the stage. It was a total Beetles moment with girls crying and swooning. It was at that moment that I lost complete control of my laughing and coughing mechanisms. One more look at the girl started it all over again. Sanjaya was completely unaware that this was not him, the singing sucked, and that the whole thing was just wrong.
In the end, Randy liked it, Paula said it was a huge improvement, and Simon said that “the little girl’s face says it all.” The camera went back to her for about the 5th time and because Simon is emotionally and interpersonally stupid, Ryan had to inform him that she was crying (with a dreadful look on her face) because she liked it a lot. She turned out to be named Ashley andย got a hug from Sanjaya right then and there and got invited up onto the stage at the end of the show to meet everyone. The floodgates of tears started all over again.
Gina Glocksen:
It wasn’t all that good. It was really her genre, but she didn’t deliver. She might be in trouble. I really like having her as a rocker, but this is clearly not going to be the year of the rocker like it should have been last year with Chris Daughtry.
Chris Sligh:
Chubby is definitely in. America is just eating up his smooth voice and his constantly improving performances. He totally worked the crowd and even poked Simon with the mic stand.
Melinda Doolittle:
She can sing anything and make a story out of it. She had an intro, mundanely perfect verse, and then drew it into a resolved crecendo and gut-busting forte that was impeccably precise and controlled. Give this woman a contract.
It’s a close call between Gina, Chris R., and Phil. I want to see Sanjaya Malakar get the boot, but there is a campaign by Howard Stern and a bunch of idiots to vote for the worst singers. If it wasn’t for that, his hair, and stupid girls like Ashley, he’d be gone. Hands down.
Final Verdict: Phil Stacey.
Sorry I can only conjure rank three holy water and its not strong enough.